


The Shrine Of Your Lies

by Helasdottir



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, Alternate Universe - Priests, Anal Sex, Catholicism, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Oral Sex, Self-Flagellation, soft nines
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 02:16:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18326648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helasdottir/pseuds/Helasdottir
Summary: Gavin has avoided temptation at every turn, abandoning any dreams he had for himself to seek a life free from sin and impurity. After years of faithful service, he has to face a new trial - a demon who embodies everything he tells himself is wrong.





	The Shrine Of Your Lies

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty blasphemous, but I have no regrets.

Gavin Reed sits inside the confessional and listens dutifully to the sins of the faithful, handing out penitence as needed. He does this with the sting of guilt in the back of his mind, the feeling it should be him repenting, begging forgiveness for his impure thoughts and actions.

One person leaves, another takes their place. Through the lattices he can see the shadow of a man, but the very nature of the confessional hides his identity. There is a long, silent stretch before a familiar voice sends makes him spiral into a vortex of fear and temptation.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned,” says the voice, smooth and self-assured, not at all repenting. “Should I list my wrongdoings?”

“What are you doing here?” Gavin hisses, sharp and alert, terrified someone will know what’s happening. No one can know.

“Why, Father, I am but a simple sinner, coming before you to confess. Is that not what this is for?” Shadows of fingers moving along the lattices of the divider, the soft noise of skin against wood ringing through the booth.

“You’re a foul creature sent by the Devil to tempt me, but I will not forget my vows.” _Not again_. Gavin’s anxiety is bleeding into his voice, it shakes with the knowledge of what they’ve already done. He shuts his eyes and joins his hands over his rosary in silent prayer.

“Father,” the voice begins again, and Gavin can feel the pure heat emanating from the creature it belongs to. “I have not only walked the path of darkness, but convinced another to walk with me. I have violated the sanctity of this church and the innocence of a man of God.”

Gavin can’t help his labored breathing, struggling to find the words he needs. This can’t continue.

“Perhaps I should be more specific.” Gavin’s small groaned _no_ is disregarded. “I have persuaded him to share his bed. I have marked his skin with my teeth, to dispute the claim God has over him. I have gone in unto him and shamed him before the divine presence. Do you still require elaboration?”

“God, stop!” Gavin cries, voice still contained enough not to be heard outside the confessional but desperate enough that it cracks. He can still feel the bruises on his skin where teeth and hands dug in, staining the virtue he had fought years to preserve.

“Now, Father.” A low chuckle comes from the other man – no, not a man at all, a demon. “Do not take the Lord’s name in vain. If you truly want me to stop, you know the words to send me away.”

“I…“ at once, the words return to him, and Gavin tries to recite them with clarity. “In nómine Pátris, et Fílii, et Spirítus Sancti. Amen. Exsúrgat Deus et dissipéntur inimíci ejus: et fúgiant qui odérunt eum a fácie ejus. Sicut déficit fumus defíciant; sicut fluit cera a fácie ígnis, sic péreant peccatóres a fácie Dei-“

“It’s not working,” the teasing voice resumes. “Could it be you want me to be here, _Gavin_?”

“Júdica Dómine nocéntes me; expúgna impugnántes me. Confundántur et revereántur quaeréntes ánimam meam. Avertántur retrórsum et confundántur, cogitántes-“

“You can stop now. I am leaving of my own will.” The words make Gavin’s prayer stop, but they’re followed by a much more menacing promise. “I will return tonight.”

As soon as the shadow disappears, Gavin flings himself through the doors of the confessional, suddenly claustrophobic. He apologizes briefly to the few faithful left in line, citing a need to confer with the Lord, and retires to his living quarters.

Once there, he does what he should have done the night before – undresses, takes a bag of corn from his cabinet, pouring the kernels on the floor and kneeling over them to pray. He reminds himself of the oaths he took, the times he swore not to have the tendencies that would bar him from a consecrated, priestly life. The shame he feels for breaking those promises is too great for words, made greater by the persisting thoughts of how _good_ it felt to indulge, to give in to temptation and bring another man into his bed.

His bed. In the church. The thought was sickening but arousing, and only the intense pain of the kernels digging into his knees kept his thoughts from straying further from the path of virtue.

In hushed tones, he confessed his own sins. He started with his early life, admitting for the first time that he felt affection for men; the fear he felt at being discovered by his parents, who raised him to be a proper Catholic boy. What followed was the hardest truth of all, one he could never bring himself to admit to another priest: that he joined the clergy not out of duty to God or a calling to help people, but out of the need to hide his impure affections behind the guise of celibacy and holiness.

His father had been so proud. Gavin shakes with the force of the memory, self-reproaching tears sliding down his cheeks. His parents never cared that he wouldn’t give them grandchildren, they were always talking about their virtuous, righteous son. It made him sick to think they could only love him because of a lie. If the truth ever came out…

And then, after years of service through which even he believed he was doing God’s work, it all came crashing down. Piercing gray eyes, dark hair, pale skin dotted with moles and freckles, the very picture of temptation. How could he possibly resist? The demon had touched him with scorching hands and soft lips, whispering filth in his ear, promising him the world if only he gave himself willingly.

Some part of him does not want to repent. He presses his weight down against the corn, teeth catching on his lower lip. He wants to experience that euphoria again, that freedom, that brazen pleasure that consumed him when they lay together. He remembers begging, his voice weak, for the creature to take him. If that was wrong, why did it feel right? Why did he feel complete with the demon inside him, over him?

“O Lord, Jesus Christ, Redeemer and Savior,” he starts, but his heart is torn even as he says the words. “Forgive my sins, just as you forgave Peter’s denial and those who crucified You. Count not my transgressions, but rather-“ _my tears of repentance_. Were they tears of repentance? They surely came from shame and guilt, but could he honestly continue this prayer and dishonor himself further by lying?

Wasn’t he lying to himself already?

“I long to be true to Your Word,” he forces out, knowing at least that much has to be true. “I pray that You will love me and make Your dwelling place within me.”

He can’t say the rest, can’t promise eternal servitude when his temptations lead him astray so easily. His walls crumble easily now that he’s admitted his failures, and the weight of everything comes down on him like a tidal wave. His parents, his shame, the years he dedicated to lie so good he started believing it.

Each sob that tore through his body seemed to drive the corn deeper into his skin, and the physical pain only increased his hysteria. When his tears roll down his neck and hit his collarbone, he realizes he’s praying again, begging the higher powers to take away these desires, to make him pure again, to make him anything but _broken_.

He nearly jumps when he hears movement behind him, but before he can turn to look there’s a body pressed against his back, arms encircling his shoulders. Heat emanates from the strong frame that holds him and he feels the demon’s head rest against the curve of his neck.

“Gavin,” the voice is soft, far too comforting to come from a spawn of the Devil. “You don’t need to punish yourself.”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii.” Gavin recites the words, but once again there’s no fervor behind them, not when his pain comes from God and his comfort from the Adversary. “Just… go,” he begs, lowering his head.

“No. I will not leave you like this.” The arms around Gavin tighten, and then the demon is nuzzling him, gentle and controlled. A shaky breath escapes him and he leans back into the enveloping warmth. “You don’t deserve to be punished for lust. It can be a beautiful thing.”

“Lust is morally disordered,” he replies, the rehearsed words ringing hollow in his mind. “Sexual congress should be reserved for procreation.”

“What about mutual attraction? Does that not differ from lust?” Soft lips touch the back of his neck, a chaste kiss that Gavin would have thought the antithesis of all things demonic. “We share such attraction.”

“Mutual attraction is felt when the eternal feminine and the eternal masculine seek to unite their hearts,” Gavin explains, wondering how that can possibly be fair. His doubts were now raw, having surfaced with the strength of his breakdown. Without thinking, he voiced them. “Why is my heart less worthy of a union?”

“It’s not.”

Gavin is so lost in his thought spiral he hardly notices when the arms around him retreat, only to lift him from the floor, one supporting his legs and the other, his back. With red, puffy eyes, he looks into the face of his tormentor.

“You are not less worthy,” the demon repeats, lowering himself and Gavin onto the bed but still holding him close. “Let me free you from your vows. Let me show you what you can become.”

“You’re here to drive me from my path,” Gavin protests, unsure of what exactly he’s saying. “I can’t believe the word of a demon. You want to ruin me and leave me corrupted.”

“Oh, Gavin.” The demon smiles – a genuine smile, one that reaches his eyes. “There are ways in which I want to ruin you, corrupt you, yes… but none of them involve causing you pain. I came to you because you were already in pain, only too stubborn to admit it. I don’t want to break you. I want to _own_ you.”

“ _Nines_.” The name slips from his lips in a whisper, and something warm spreads through the pain consuming Gavin’s chest. He wants to believe those words, wants to give himself over entirely to this beautiful creature. Now that he’s uncovered his own secrets, can he really run from them?

“Tell me to leave, and I’ll leave,” Nines promises, moving one hand to Gavin’s knees to pluck out the kernels still stuck to his bare skin. “Or tell me to stay.”

 _Stay_. That word carried too much weight. If Gavin says it, he knows he won’t be able to keep up the charade anymore. He’ll have to shame his family by leaving the clergy, and then what? Back to school, with no money, no support? He could find a job, but he has no clue where to start looking.

His thoughts are interrupted by Nines, who caresses his face as if he’s made of glass. Pressure builds up in his chest and he’s almost sure the sobs will return, but they don’t. Slowly, hesitantly, he nods.

“Say it,” the demon insists.

“Stay.” Just like that, a weight is lifted from him. He can breathe again. His legs and chest still ache, but there’s an emotional freedom that overrides any physical sensation. His eyes water once more, tears spilling down to his ears. “Stay,” he repeats, pressing his face into the warm hand that cradles it.

“You won’t regret this,” Nines promises, his eyes suddenly shining in the low-lit room. He leans down and claims Gavin’s lips in a kiss – slow and gentle, unlike their first night together.

Gavin’s entire body relaxes, eyes closing, as he opens his mouth to Nines, resting his hand on the demon’s shoulder as their tongues meet and tangle. In this moment, he can let himself believe Nines will protect him from the world.

He can’t say for sure when Nines moves him from his lap to the mattress, only that he allows it without protest. It’s only when his undergarments come off that he realizes he’s completely exposed, but the demon is still fully clothed above him.

“Nines,” he pleads, giving the black shirt a petulant tug. He expects Nines to undress like a human, but _no_ , his clothes are gone with a snap of his fingers. Gavin’s face feels hot as his eyes adjust to the change, and he has to remind himself he’s allowed to look.

Nines holds still, allowing Gavin to admire his now naked form with his lips in a confident smirk. Uncertain fingers trail down his chest, slow and exploratory, clearly inexperienced.

“Tell me, Gavin, was I your first?”

An embarrassed noise escapes Gavin, who withdraws his hand in shame. It takes him a minute to remember this is what he asked for, this is what he was risking eternal damnation for. He might as well enjoy it.

“Yes,” he admits, although he thinks the demon might already have known that. After another beat without any movement from Nines, he licks his lips and averts his gaze. “I don’t know… what I’m doing.”

“That’s fine,” Nines soothes, leaning over him to press wet kisses over Gavin’s neck. “We’ll have plenty of time for you to learn. Right now, all I want is this.”

 _Plenty of time_. Gavin threads his fingers through Nines’s hair, resting his head against the pillow and allowing soft sounds to pass his lips with every kiss and scrape of teeth against his skin.

Their first time together was nothing like this. Nines had tempted him with filth, not tenderness. The few times they kissed were rough and needy; Nines had taken him from behind with his hands forming bruises on Gavin’s hips.

Gavin had enjoyed that thoroughly, but this – this is _divine_. Nines lavishes him with affection, using his hands and mouth over the whole length of Gavin’s torso. By the time he’s low enough on the bed to be facing the man’s crotch, Gavin’s erection stands at full attention.

Nines ignores it for the moment, opting to use his mouth on the inside of those firm thighs instead. He starts with the same gentle kisses, but they soon turn to playful nips that have Gavin arching back and breathing his name in the most desperate of voices.

The marks from the previous night are still everywhere – Gavin’s thighs, hips, shoulders, on his back where Nines can’t see right now. There’s no need to tease him further, so the demon decides to be graceful and use his mouth on Gavin’s cock, starting with long licks up the length of the shaft and wet kisses to the leaking head.

“Nines, Nines, _God_.” The blasphemy is music to Nines’s ears. He lowers his mouth until his nose is against the trimmed hairs on Gavin’s lower abdomen, relishing in the way his name keeps spilling from the man’s lips like a prayer. When he swallows, Gavin moans and his hips stutter forward. Nines would have choked if he were human.

Of course, being a creature of supernatural origin has more benefits than a lack of gag reflex, so Nines makes full use of his abilities as he rubs Gavin’s hole with one lubricated finger. He swallows around Gavin’s cock, rubs his tongue along the underside, using pleasure to distract him from the intrusion as he eases that first finger inside.

He takes his time preparing Gavin, avoiding his prostate to prevent him from reaching orgasm too quickly. Only when he has three fingers inside to the knuckle with Gavin pushing back on them as if wanting to take more does he stop, pulling back entirely to admire his work.

Gavin’s flush spreads from his face to his chest, which rises and falls with each labored breath. He has one arm slung over his eyes, but raises it to look at Nines when nothing new happens. Nines can’t keep himself from pressing another kiss to Gavin’s lips, guiding his arm out of the way.

“Nines,” Gavin whispers, one hand gripping the demon’s bicep. “ _Please_.”

“Ah, baby,” the term of endearment slips without his permission, but he doesn’t take it back. “You have to ask for what you want.”

“I- Nines, I want _you_ ,” Gavin tries, closing his eyes from the shame.

“Look at me,” Nines instructs, waiting until his lover complies to continue. “And tell me you want me to fuck you.”

“I want…” Shaking his head, Gavin tugs Nines’s arm, trying to get him to act without having to say the words. When he doesn’t budge, Gavin whines low in his throat. “Please, Nines.”

“I’ll do anything so long as you tell me,” Nines promises, nosing at Gavin’s hair and pressing a gentle kiss to the side of his head.

“God,” Gavin chokes, feeling his eyes fill with tears for the third time today. “ _Fuck me_ , Nines.”

“There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Nines kisses the spot under his ear, then pulls Gavin lower on the bed, positioning himself between his spread legs and guiding his cock to Gavin’s slick hole. He pushes in slowly, admiring the human’s face as it contorts in pain and pleasure. “You’re doing so well, baby, so good.”

The praise earns him a broken moan and Gavin’s arms around his neck, pulling him down into a deep kiss. Nines focuses on their joined lips, keeping his hips still until Gavin starts rocking down against them.

He has every intention of dragging this out. He trails kisses down to Gavin’s neck as he thrusts, slow and deep, groaning at the tightness and heat enveloping him. The friction of their joined bodies is delicious and Gavin is so sweetly responsive, gasps and moans indicating his pleasure every time Nines brushes against his prostate.

“How does it feel, Gavin?” Nines wants to hear his answer, to know he’s corrupted him completely. It gives him a rush to hear Gavin talk dirty, even if he doesn’t quite know what he’s doing.

“Mh, good… good, Nines.” Gavin’s hand tangles in the demon’s hair again, blunt nails scraping his scalp. “Full- _ah_.”

“I could do this for hours,” he mutters, appreciative, moving his lips over Gavin’s pulse point. He rolls his hips forward lazily, too focused on their connection to chase an orgasm just yet. Fuck, Gavin has him captivated. “I want to take you apart, baby.”

Gavin’s hand tightens in his hair, a breathy sigh leaving his lips at the pet name. He’s doing his best to rock into Nines’s thrusts at the same unhurried pace, mouth hanging open at the flood of sensations.

They move together for what feels like hours, until Gavin’s hands grow more insistent and Nines’s thrusts faster, less controlled. Gavin’s moans get louder, needier, and he’s crying again. Nines pushes himself up, leaving enough space between them so he can reach and stroke Gavin’s cock.

It doesn’t take long for the human to climax with the double stimulus, his body still unused to sex, and he cries Nines’s name as he arches off the bed, making a mess of his chest and stomach. Nines feels Gavin tighten around him, little broken cries escaping him as Nines continues to thrust into him.

Nines comes with a low groan, rocking his hips forward as he rides the wave of his orgasm. When he’s spent, he pulls out with care and admires the view in front of him: Gavin all messy, hair disheveled, eyes glossed over with the calm of their afterglow. Nines could tease him further, but he decides to be nice. With a snap of his fingers, the fluids are gone, leaving both of them clean and dry.

“Mm, isn’t that cheating?” Gavin asks, motioning for Nines to join him.

“Not if I’m not human,” Nines replies, smiling as he spreads out on the bed by Gavin’s side, pulling the man back into his arms. He places a kiss to Gavin’s forehead and sighs. “Mine.”

“Yes…” Gavin nuzzles into the demon’s chest, closing his eyes. Everything comes back to him in slow bursts, the fear and betrayal he’d felt, the desire to be close to Nines, the safety of his embrace. “What does that mean?”

“It means we stick together. You can finally just be. Isn’t that what you wanted?” Nines asks, rubbing circles over Gavin’s back.

“I think so. Shit,” Gavin swears, pressing closer to Nines. His anxieties are returning, but they can’t hold power over him so long as he believes Nines isn’t lying. “I can’t go back up there. I can’t preach against myself anymore, I want- I want to know what this means.”

“Will you ask for laicization?”

“Yes. Tomorrow.” He doesn’t hesitate to answer, and that scares him more than anything: how easy it is to leave everything behind, all his years of study, of service, just for this feeling. “Nines… you aren’t messing with me, right?”

“No, Gavin.” Nines presses a kiss to the top of the man’s head, tracing his spine with his fingers. “Never.”

 _Tomorrow_ , Gavin thinks. If Nines is still by his side then, he’s sure his fear will dissipate. For now, his words are enough to soothe him, lulling him to sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr @hassumccoy or @daughterofdeath and on twitter @xhelasdottir.


End file.
